Firstly, a friend drew my attention to some pointless survey or other reported in today`s papers. Most surveys are pointless. This one says that women who have had babies start to read rubbish, or words to that effect. They stop reading War and Peace and change to chic lit and Colleen McCloughlin`s autobiography. Asked a few people at random in the street I suppose, one of those time-wasters with clipboards stopping me from getting on with my shopping. I daresay it is true of some women. My brain went to mush after I had my babies and I daresay my reading went down a notch or three, and I certainly read about half the number of books I did before. So far so boring. I don`t really care about the survey. It isn`t of any interest or value to anyone or anything. But ho, hang on, along comes some jobsworth to talk to us about the survey, explain it to us, and make us feel OK about it or .. or otherwise justify her pay packet.  This woman is called Director of the 2008 Year of Reading.l I bet her pay packet is pretty thick. Anyway, she says, ( or rather, let`s get this straight, she is QUOTED by the Daily Mail as saying, ) ' It`s really important to read what you love and what fits in with your lifestyle.' Excuse me ? Who the bloody hell IS this woman and how dare she patronise me in this way, tell me what it is good to read, talk to me about my 'lifestyle' ?? I could just about take it if she was a fully qualified doctor and  head of some medical research organisation and she said 'It is really important not to smoke cigarettes if you want to keep your lungs clean' or 'it is really important that women check for breast lumps regularly.'  I know I know this but not everyone does, even now, and those things are really important. But there is worse. This self-appointed God of What We Should Read goes on to say 'Reading isn`t just about personal advancement, it`s also about relaxation and pleasure.' I want to do what children so rudely do, stick my tongue inside my lower lip and go 'Duh.'  Patronising. Pompous. Grandmother-egg-sucking. Oh stop me please. I mean, how dare she ?

I don't know if she is worse than Harold Bloom for pomposity, for egocentricity, for thinking they are better than the rest of us but here is one Harold Bloom from the year 2000 in the Wall Street Journal. This is a man, as you may well never have heard of him and I wish I had not, who claims to know what the Best Books, or the Literary Canon, are, and why and to tell us how Important they are. I want to tie him up and force feed him with John Carey`s little masterpiece, 'What Use are the Arts ?'until he says he is sorry.

Of J.K.Rowling he said, after being extremely rude about the Harry Potter books, 'Is there any redeeming educational use to Rowling ?'

When said H Bloom has got as many people reading, longing to read, staying up until midnight to get their hands on a book and then sitting down on the pavement to start it, when he has done the zillionth fraction of what Jo Rowling has done for books and reading and so, indirectly, for education, then he has the right to pontificate.

Otherwise he and the other jobsworth should remain silent. For good.