The Elder daughter has kept up with a group of her old school friends from Cheltenham Ladies College so closely that they don`t need FRIEND REUNITED. They have all gone on to do interesting things. One or two have been getting married of late. One gave up a high powered and highly paid City career to become a schoolteacher in inner London, another, Sophie Solomon, has become rather famous as a jazz violinist.

And now Lucy has launched her own business with a terrific website selling really fabulous and unusual stuff for mothers and babies. Not your run-of-the-mill bibs with mickey mouse on, this is class. If you know of anyone about to have a baby, just had a baby, got a couple of babies, lead them to the wonderfully named Lula Sapphire. www.lulasapphire.com. Up market, high-end design, for ages 0-5. It`s scary starting your own business as well as hard work, so I really wish Lucy and Nick, her boyfriend, success.

 

I am so cross with the SP. Every time I buy him a book for Christmas and have just hidden it in the depths of airing cupboard.. he comes home with a copy of it he has just bought for himself. First it was IMPERIUM, the new Robert Harris. He went on and on about POMPEII so much that it was an obvious choice for the Stocking. Then he went to Finland last week and bought himself a copy at the airport.

Next it was the new Colin Thubron. I bought it. He came home with it in a Waterstone`s bag.

Not to mention the new pair of slippers that appeared, after I had just ordered some. And I can`t cancel the order because the little shop doesn`t usually stock this kind and got them in specially. You would think, would you not, that a man might make his old slippers last now it is almost November and only 7 weeks to go. But no.

I got my revenge today. I bought my own copy of THE BEANO ANNUAL  for 2007 and left it lying casually on the kitchen table. I heard a dreadful groan when the SP came in which means he had ordered one from amazon.

Now he knows what it feels like.

 

TO ME BY E-MAIL PLEASE, otherwise not fair. I should have said so.

SIMON COWELL

I have been writing an essay all afternoon so I need to entertain myself. You too, I hope.

Those following the WOOLF FOR DUMMIES course had better be sitting up straight and paying attention.

1. What was the name of the holiday house and the town in Cornwall where Virginia Stephen stayed with her family every summer ?

2. What is the title of the only novel Leonard Woolf wrote ?

3. Name two of the apprentices the Woolfs employed at the Hogarth Press and who subsequently went on to become Men of Letters.

4. In which seaside town is JACOB`S ROOM partly set ?

and so to Shakespeare. These are taken from WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. THE QUIZ BOOK, compiled by the SP, with wood engravings by John Lawrence, published by Long Barn and a snip at £5.

a. Who lost his leg in a sea fight ?

b. Who was "from his mother`s womb, untimely ripped" ?

c. How does Ariel travel ?

d. Which king suffers from a fistula ?

e.Who enters cross-garter`d and wearing yellow stockings ?

f. Who exits pursued by a bear ?

 

and finally, can you answer these ? Extra brownie points here.

1. What was the name of Ruth`s husband and how did he die ?

2. What was the name of the house to which Kingshaw and his mother came one summer ?

3. Two young soldiers in the First World War became intimate friends - who lived and who died ?

4. Who lived at Eel Marsh House ?

5. Who fell in love with Kitty ?

 

Big prizes involved here. And you are on your honour not to Google. Cubs/Brownies Honour. Delete where appropriate.

 

HM the Queen has done her back in. She should ask the SP for the number of his Thai masseur.

Madonna has taken Baby David to the US of A.

Camilla has gone to Pakistan. She needs to make sure not to swim in any hotel pools.The SP went to Pakistan against my wishes but I thought I`d got it covered by giving him endless lectures about not eating salads or fruit without washing it in bottled water, making sure the bottled water bottles were screwed on screw-on caps, only cleaned his teeth in said bottled water,not eating ice cream or any sort of creamy pudding, not...

and he came home and was very very ill indeed, worryingly ill. He said he had done everything and not done everything, as instructed. But on close questioning, confessed he had swum in the hotel pool, and doubtless swallowed half a gallon of it. 'Well, it was a 5 star hotel,' he said.

I daresay Camilla`s is a 15 star hotel but she still should not swim in their pool.

And if I had had my wits about me, Caroline Ahern would have been on my list of Heroines.

Meanwhile, if you want the book, which I am sure you do - HEROINES, THE BOLD, THE BAD AND THE BEAUTIFUL, by Jessica Ruston - even without Caroline Ahern - then AMAZON now have loadsa stock.

AS DO WATERSTONES AND BORDERS and MR B`S BOOK EMPORIUM IN BATH.

Or you can order direct from us, online. www.longbarnbooks.com

Just thought you`d like to know.

.. Of the ROYLE FAMILY.  Yaaay.

Highbrows, look away now.

Come back later and let me know what you thought. But can you believe, Baby David is six already !

The Elder Daughter came up for a couple of days and she and I were talking about a mutual friend, whom we love to bits, who is always fancying this man or madly in love with that one, in spite of having had one of the longest - 43 years - and happiest marriages you are likely to meet. It got me thinking though so I thought I`d make a list of all the people I am or have been in love with. As it`s Sunday.

George Clooney.

Humphrey Bogart

George Clooney.

Clive Owen

Jeremy Northam

Christopher Hitchens

Martin Amis

Kingsley ditto

Dirk Bogarde

Tom Stoppard

Ryan Giggs

Oooh Ahh Cantona

OK, more later. Dinner to put on the table. (Note, I did not use the word 'Cook.')

 

 

Is that he knows Dickens is the finest novelist ever. The greatest. No argument. He understands what Dickens is about. He loves his, revels in him, soaks himself in. The chapter about reading David Copperfield for the first time is wonderful and rather moving. He is also funny, in his asides, on those Important Critics whose whole life and work imply that they have never ever has to read anything for the first time. He feels that Harold Bloom and James Wood - and I would add in George Steiner myself - have only ever re-read all the Great Books. They must have. I think he`s right.

If only he didn`t have to drop in those little poisoned globules about A......L every now and again. He really lets himself down there.

But do I learn ? I am made annoyed, angry, irritated, grumpy and at times downright FURIOUS by them. In no particular order..

1. I am really really sick of people telling the rest of us what to do or how to do it. I do not mean as in, knit a sock on a round needle or take a dishwasher apart to find out why it leaks. I do not mean those who know best teaching us things.. if I want to learn Greek, which I do rather, I will go to someone who knows it already and they will tell me what to do.

No, I mean people taking it upon themselves to advise us all how to be a good granny/wife/re-cycler. It`a the Granny one that has got me. I am not a Granny. Yet. I have no especial desire to become one but I daresay the odds are pretty decent that one day I will. When I do I may be a good, bad or indifferent one. I don`t know yet. I didn`t know what kind of a mother I would be until I tried it. (Fairly bad would be the answer at the start, getting worse over a few years and then getting much, much better with practice, so that now I am rather good.) But how dare some woman patronise me about how to be a good granny ? It implies, does it not, that she is one and can show me. The cheek of it. No one can tell anyone who to be a good person in relation to other people. No one.

2. Some little whippersnapper writes today that people who are fat suffer from 'moral turpitude.' Now we all know that smoking is the new Evil in Scotland and will shortly become so here. (No, I do not smoke.) In the apparent absence of truly wicked things to have a conscience about and chastise others for, things like murder and cruelty to animals and beating up old ladies and abusing little children ...in the apparent absence, as I say, of those and more, there are many who would have you believe that the worst sins of all are to smoke and to eat too much. Well I can tell you categorically that THEY ARE NOT. Smoking is foolish because it harms you. It harms your body and your bank balance. But it is not a mortal sin.

Eating well, as I do, loving food, as I do, may not be good for my waistline - but I am pretty healthy in spite of being plump, and  I have absolutely no doubt that there are 100 things worse than eating too much, in moral as in a lot of other terms.

So, that is just two things out of quite a lot - like noting that some women spend 2,500 pounds on a handbag QUITE OFTEN, and care desperately if they cannot get the one everyone else has got. It is not that I don`t like handbags or don`t want people to look smart. It`s the wickedness of it, when children`s hospices are strapped for cash here and babies are dying of everything there and...

The Sunday papers have made me angry about Plastic Surgery for Cosmetic reasons when there is a charity which needs money to bring children here from war-ravaged countries to have their innocent little faces put back to something approaching normal after they were blown off by missiles. 

Never mind about the petty irritations aroused when you read about pretentious literary novelists talking as if what they do is as important as that sort of remedial plastic surgery or more so....

It`s all been too much.

I must stop reading the weekend papers. I must stop reading the  weekend papers. I must...

 

And that is he`s an Arsenal supporter. I find it really really hard to admit that I admire the work of a man who is an Arsenal supporter, I really, really do. But I have to. There. I`ve admitted it. I admire Nick Hornby. In the end, and in spite of all your kind and helpful suggestions when I was S-T-U-C-K for what to read, it was Nick Hornby who saved me. I bought his book THE COMPLETE POLYSYLLABIC SPREE in the book tent at this year`s Cheltenham Festival, without quite taking in what it was, just that it was by him, let alone quite taking in that it was 16. bloody 99 p and NOT DISCOUNTED. However, that`s as may be, I bought it and there it sat until I was S-T-U-C-K and picked it up. And it is quite quite wonderful. I agree with almost everything he says except that I have to turn the page quickly  when he mentions A...L - no, it`s no good, I just cannot have their name in full on my blog.  Otherwise, he is writing about reading. This is his collection of essays originally published in a US mag called Believer, of which I had never heard, and originally called 'Stuff I`ve been reading.' It isn`t so much the stuff he`s been reading that delights, it is the truth he tells about us readers and the sense he talks about the thing called reading. Above all, the way he will not, absolutely will not, stand guff and high-bron-ism and the patronising tone of those who espouse the cause of Literary Fiction and only Literary Fiction and seek to teach the rest of us how to read.  He  loathes the clever-dicks who tell us 'that unless we`re reading something proper, then we might as well not bother at all.' He wonderfully reminds us that  if you do not read the winner of this year`s Booker Prize 'nothing bad will happen to you,' and even more wonderfully, 'nothing good will happen to you if you do.' He is very funny, rueful about himself, and extremely  encouraging about the times when one just gives up on a book - his own list of books bought/read often includes the word 'Abandoned' alongside a title.

I am inspired to try and read some of the books he admires, even though in my heart I know that they are lad`s books, or books about hip-hop music or R and B or american culture about which I know nothing and care less. But I realy, really think I should give a go to titles like THE WILD, THE INNOCENT AND THE E-STREET SHUFFLE and WHERE YOU`RE AT. I know I probably won`t understand them or like them and that the chances are strong that I will abandon them, but Nick H has ensured that a. I will have tried and b. I won`t feel guilty if I don`t succeed.

He is laugh-aloud funny. He is talking about not remembering the books he read and loved years ago - though I disgree with him that this is depressing, I find it means that you pick them up but with one advantage you did not have the first time around, which is that you know you loved them, so might well do so again. But after saying that he doesn`t remember 'just about every book I consumed between the ages of fifteen and forty' he adds ' I haven`t even read the books I think I`ve read,. I can`t tell you how depressing this is.'

Oh I know how he feels. I have been convinced for years that I have actually read Anna Karenina.

I haven`t finished reading his book yet because I`m making it last, like the boiled sweet at the bottom of the bag with the paper stuck to it. But I know that I am going to enjoy, admire and love every word of the rest of it. Except the bits about A.....L.  Because, as I said, he is an A.....L supporter.

I can`t tell you how depressing this is.

 

for something to read... I know, I know. But  it`s a tricky one. I am in a difficult and complicated section of the new Serrailler and I am writing my module essay for the MA. I don`t want anything too deep and complex and involving. I don`t want crime as I`m writing it - though I do let myself read Michael Connolly while writing, as he is so very different from me. It couldn`t influence me.

I don`t feel like going back to anything long and Victorian. I am - well, stuck. I don`t feel like re-reading.. though I might possibly go to W.G. Sebald. Indeed, it is some sort of non-fiction that I want. I keep wandering along the shelves but nothing will quite do.

I think I have too much choice. I mean, weren`t we all happier, when we had one toy at Christmas, doll or soldier, one sort of toothpaste and just tea because no one drank coffee then and apart from the family Bible and Mrs Beeton there was only The Forsyte Saga in the house. Oh, and I nearly forgot, ' we made our own entertainment.'

 

 

Perhaps those who are doing the course/class/night school/module/replacement for Yoga for Beginniners, could indicate when they have finished reading NIGHT AND DAY please ? There are a lot of things to say about it.  But whether or not you have finished, you could ponder this.

VW more or less disowned the novel later. She had never really liked it, she said. You will find quite a bit about that in A WRITER`S DIARY and in various letters. But is this relevant to us, reading it now ? Does it matter what she thought and that she regarded it as a failure ?

A novel I wrote which I dislike now, and which I do not think convinces at all, won the Whitbread Prize and was shortlisted for Booker. It has not sold as well as my others by any means, so perhaps people agree with me not the judges. Does it matter what I think ?

A book, once it has left its author, goes on its way through the world to seek its fortune alone. As a Post modernist, I have to say that what VW thought does not matter a jot - it mattered to her but that should not affect our reading of it.

And yet.. she was surely her own best critic, as I am mine.

I find myself with a foot in both camps.

I would like you to read what she says about N and D both while she was writing it, and afterwards. But only once you have finished the novel.

 

I got a leaflet with my local newspaper this morning. It advertised a coffee morning, raffle and the usual Festive stuff in aid of the local GP`s surgery - and I`m rather glad it is not the surgery I attend, even if the SP does. Because on the leaflet it reads

Bring and Buy - NO BOOKS.

The Dove Grey One has done HOW I read so here is a sort of sideways copycat.

I read in bed in the mornings. The SP brings up my mug of tea and gently unfolds the Roman Blinds, letting light filter slowly and cautiously onto my opening eyes. I then sit up, plump the pillows and read for a bit while he talks to me and answer while reading, But this is not a long read and a Border Terrier or a cat often leaps onto bed-book-tea, thus interrupting the flow. But it is only a 3 year indulgence, other than at weekends, this early morning dip into whatever book happens to be nearest to me on the bedside table. In all the years of the Dreaded School Run there was never a second for sentence.

Reading during the  day is either for my MA or for the Publishing company. I read the newspapers with my coffee, not a book. But if I am going to London important reading gets done on the train. An hour and forty minutes plus extras because the train is late/delayed/stopped means a lot of book and I am good at blocking out 'Hello, Mike here, I`m on the train..' 'Hello, Fred here, I`m on the train, I won`t make the 10.30 meeting, the train`s running late'...

As I am now an owl, whereas when the girls were young I HAD to be a lark, like all parents, I often have an afternoon sleep because I will be up until 2 or 3 in the morning and I always read for twenty minutes or so before zzzzz ing off.

If I am not working late, I go to bed early and that is serious reading time. I can read for a couple of hours, no prob.

In summer, I read in the garden in a deckchair. In winter I read on the kitchen sofa by the Aga or on the posh Knole sofa in the drawing room. I also always have half an hour at least of reading in the bath around 6.30 every evening - hence the rows of books drying off on the Aga rack.

It is, though, many years since I read while riding a bicycle, riding a horse, walking along the street or under the bedclothes with a torch. Pity.

 

 

There is a new question on the STRANGE MEETING section, FROM Eloise, and my answer to it. I don`t put these on the main section, so always check the special student sections.

Bring your problem recipients here and let`s see if I can make some helpful book suggestions, as I seem to be scoring a few hits. Girl 10, cannot imagine  there is a life beyond Jacqueline Wilson ? Grandfather, only reads about War and fishing ? Mother in law ? Teacher ? Lady who takes in your parcels ?  Husband who has finished all the Patrick O`Brian`s twice and you can`t face watching him start all over again...

Ladies of Grace Adieu  by Susanna Clark.. offcuts from  Jonathan Strange and Mr Norris. If you iked that.. a most beautiful book, without a dustcover but with lovely embossed cloth binding. You`d have to like this sort of faery book though.

THE PRIVATE WORLD OF GEORGETTE HEYER by JANE AIKEN HODGE.. A paperback and you`d have to be a Heyerite but if you are...

COME, TELL ME HOW YOU LIVE. AN ARCHAEOLOGICAL MEMOIR by AGATHA CHRISTIE. Memoir of her travels in the 1930s in SyriA and Iraq, with her archaelogist husband. Absolutely fascinating and quite another side of AC.

MAYA ANGELOU. HALLELUJAH. THE WELCOME TABLE.  Wonderful bok about food and the memories it holds for her.

 

EAT, PRAY, LOVE by Elizabeth Gilbert . A journey in search of - everything really. Herself. Happiness. Enlightenment. Contentment. Peace. God. A wonderfully truthful and  brave book - and I usually hate this sort of thing. Might seem an odd Christmas present; you`d have to pick your recipient carefully. But I don`t see that Christmas is only for froth.

LAST CURTSEY. THE END OF THE DEBUTANTES by Fiona McCarthy. You can`t believe it used to go on, but it did, until more recently than you think ... amazing. 'Coming out' was barmy- girls in white curtsied to a cake. Then queued to be presented at court.  You couldn`t make it up - and this book doesn`t.

and

COPPER by ANNABEL GOLDSMITH.  For absolutely any dog lover, especially female. I don`t know why.

THE PERFECT SUMMER. DANCING INTO SHADOW IN 1911.  JULIET NICOLSON.. evokes a year, a period,  a way of life, quite beautifully. I loved this.

 

 

 

For those who are just getting underway with this... the chapter when the book soars up, from a  slightly leaden first half, is CHAPTER FIFTEEN. Something happens to VW`s writing in this chapter. I think she fell in love with her characters from inside, and was no longer just describing them rather flatly as an outside observer. She also found a scene and a setting which she could 'paint' rather than just describe. She has a very visual sensibility - doubtless she learned much froher painter sister Vanessa, as well as from her own observations and converstions of, and about, paintings and painters.

If you feel you are plodding a little, plod on until Chapter 15...

If you have a male who is without the usual  boring hobbies -golf and stuff - but who would welcome a book, THE LOST MEN; THE HARROWING STORY OF SHACKLETON`S ROSS SEA PARTY by Kelly Tyler-Lewis.  I would defy anyone not to find it as riveting as any thriller. True life adventure.

and for the same recipient, IVAN`S WAR. INSIDE THE RED ARMY 1939-1945. by Catherine Merridale. A paperback too, so stocking-filler with substance.

and I can think of a lot of younger - well, under 60- men, who would love NUMBER ONE IN HEAVEN. THE HEROES WHO DIED FOR ROCK AND ROLL.by Jeremy Simmonds. Though not for the SP.

GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS...

Much easier.

For those who love her,  A six book boxed  set of JANE AUSTEN from  The Collector`s Library

Victoria Beckham. That Extra Half an Inch.  (Doncha just love her..of course you do.)

The Beautiful Fall. Fashion, Genius and Glorious Excess in 1970s Paris. by  Alicia Drake

Daughter of the Desert. The Remarkable Life of Gertrude Bell by  Georgina Howell.

and

FRENCH WOMAN FOR ALL SEASONS, A YEAR OF SECRETS, RECIPES AND PLEASURE. by Mireille Guiliano.

I think we are getting together an ace set of presents and a lot of really really interesting ten-minute sofa chats.

More anon.

We at Long Barn were downhearted about not being chosen for R and J Christmas Books show of course. But it is NOT sour grapes when I say I think the final selections were .. disappointing. Flanimals and  the Dangerous Book for Boys ... already out and best selling. Their fiction choices are so adventurous and unusual but these are a tad bo-ringly obvious. Wouldn`t people want help in finding the less in-your-face books ? Wel I think so so here on this blog, with the help of all my commentators, they will get it. I am kicking off the Not-the-R-and-J Christmas books show with some fiction. They have none. Odd that.

I don`t think Booker prize entries or other serious litfic is for Christmas stockings unless it has been specifically requested. So here is my Christmas fiction list.

A nice double-package to keep the Victorian-pastiche lover going for all those long days after Christmas Day. KEPT by D.J. Taylor and THE THIRTEENTH TALE by Diane Setterfield.

For the crime lover, ECHO PARK, the new Michael Connolly, Ian Rankin and Martine Cole. Not obscure, I know but what a box to get !

For my son-in-law and others of his ilk, a Holy Moly book called EAT WELL, STAY FIT, DIE ANYWAY. Apparently this is what would go down a storm.

For an uncle, a grandfather, any good friend who loves  P.G Wodehouse, what either the complete set or even just one volume of the smashing EVERYMAN COMPLETE edition. They are beautifully designed and presented and would look so handsome on anyone`s shelf. Just one ? THE MATING SEASON... the funniest of them all. Non-Wodehouse people may pass.

I`d buy anyone interested in art DAVID HOCKNEY PORTRAITS.  and the perfect stocking filler for any gardener, THE GARDENER`S BIBLE by Ros Jay from the enterprising small WHITE LADDER PRESS. For a cook`s stocking, there is THE COOK`S BIBLE. Yummy little books.

Lots more to follow, especially children` books - now some of yours  please to add to the jollity of the programme. By the time we are done, this will be the Ultimate Christmas List for Booklovers.

Inevitably, when your children are young and you are reading to them or helping them pick books out in library or bookshop and hearing them give you a blow-by-blow account of the plot of whatever it is they have just finished reading, you are more closely in touch with the world of children`s books than when they mysteriously skip in the twinkling of en eye to the ages of 29 and 21.  I mean, how did that happen ? Where was I ?

But I have kept up by reviewing children`s books and browsing the children`s  sections of many bookshops because I am interested and because I always planned that Long Barn would dip its toe into that particular water. Now, it has. Two children`s books are just published, one is at the design stage and will be out in May - and I went to see the first sketches for our first full colour book for younger children on Friday and was so excited I could hardly sleep.

The books have come my way in a series of odd linking sideways steps. I have not sought them out. But I find this is often the best way of getting hold of a really good book. It drops into your lap because that is where it was meant to be. As all our mothers would have said.

I had no very strong editorial policy to begin with. But focusing on children`s books more and more recently, I find that an editorial policy is forming itself.

It goes like this.

NO disfunctional families. No gritty realism. No stories about children being beaten up, running away from home, trying to get on with step-parents, being bullied at school. Life is real and life`s hardships and cruelties will face them. I do not want them to be facing them in their imaginations too, in books I may publish.

NO witches, wizards, fantasy, magic, dragons, potions and spells.... mainly because there is too much of it about.

NO stories about bottoms, pooh, potties, underpants or Horrible anyone or anything.

That leaves... it leaves stories. Magical stories. Real stories. Wholesome stories, as wholesome as good bread. Escapist stories. Pony stories, Animal stories minus any cruelty. Fun stories Adventure stories. Expedition stories. Charming stories. Stories you would want your children and grandchildren to read and remember and  which would become part of their inner world forever, as Alice and  The Wind in the Willows and Swallows and Amazons are part of mine. I love the word 'wholesome.'

The first two children`s books are exactly that. Wholesome and wholly delightful, gentle stories about animals and adventures and happy endings. They were both published originally almost 50 years ago but they have not dated, they come up fresh as paint, they delight, they charm, they engage, they amuse.

I am very, very pleased to have ESCAPE TO THE DOWNS and THE DONKEY DERBY by HESTER KNIGHT, both with drawings by RAOUL MILLAIS, on our list.

Ten pounds each, beautifully little hardbacks, for ages 6-96.  I think I have said this before. I am saying it again.

The best thing you can give a child is a childhood. The next best thing is a wonderful library of children`s books to nurture and delight.

 

Nice lie-in always helps. I was up till 1.20 a.m. doing invoices and other paperwork for HEROINES. This morning I tootled off with our box for the Children`s Society, weighed down with the loose change of a year, to the Box Opening Ceremony in the church rooms. There, tables of stalwart gentlemen take the boxes, empty them, count the money, and give you your empty box back with a label on the bottom telling you how much you saved - so you can ry and beat yourself this time next year. Meanwhile, stalwart ladies serve coffee and do the raffle and the Bring and Buy. I had forgotten to Bring, so I hastened back to the car. My car boot serves as many things - an overflow larder, and a charity-shop stockroom so I found lots of new and nearly new goodies and returned to the Church Rooms. I unloaded and went back for mjore, whereupon the SLs said my car boot was like the Magic Porridge Pot.

I bought a bag of white tulip bulbs for £1 - you can never have too many white tulips in my view, and a nearly new and lovely copy of an anthology of Flowers with wood engravings. The SL asked for 10p which I thought was wicked even if I love a bargain. Seeing my face, she hastily re-priced it at £1 and it was a snip at that price too.

Then I had two cups of coffee, chatted to a lot of people I rarely see and collected my empty box, all ready to start filling in with loose change again.

It was glorious blue sky and golden sunshine when I emerged from the Church Rooms but by the time I got home ready to take the dogs out the heavens had opened and they didn`t shut for some time, so I read the papers instead, which was a fair old waste of time. Always is at the weekend. I`m going to give them up. I say so every week. This time I mean it.

I had planned to get on with my essay this afternoon but in spite of the lie-in, the late night caught up with me and  before I knew where I was, the raining was lashing on the windows and the SP was kindly bringing me a cup of tea.

Only the milk had gone off.

We at Heroines inc. love this charming lady. When Jessica Ruston was writing the book she asked dozens and dozens of celebrity women for their own personal Heroines. Dozens and dozens didn`t bother to reply but one who did, immediately, was the Eastern Food and cooking diva Claudia Roden. She telephoned twice, to tell us that she was going away and was really anxious not to let anyone down but she thought she might not make the deadline, We both told her not to worry, to send the list when she could. She wrote it while on holiday and sent it the second she returned, then rang up twice to agonise on whether she had left anyone out, whether people would be upset if she had... We loved her for the care and trouble she took and for her professionalism and kindness.

So when looking for the latest news on any of the Heroines in the book, I was delighted to find a very good review in the Los Angeles Times of Claudia`s latest book, ARABESQUE. A TASTE OF MORROCCO, TURKEY AND LEBANON. It quotes this delightful bit of information from the book.

"In one of the many interesting cultural asides tucked in this book, Claudia Roden tells us that bread is "almost sacred" in Moroccan society. "If a piece falls on the ground," she says, "someone is sure to pick it up, kiss it and place it somewhere high."
 

I just went and ate a piece of new bread and butter with real respect.

 

.. has been a bit less than usual. Partly because I have been reading Monastic and Religious Orders in Britain 1000-1300 and allied vols. partly because I have trying to get Simon Serailler out of a mess into which, fair enough, I got him, partly because I have been getting HEROINES out to the shops and thinking up cunning marketing ploys... but I have read

ECHO PARK. The new Michael Connolly - and it`s a must-read if you`re a fan. His dialogue crackles, absolutely crackles, and his killers are really most unpleasant. But he has a huge sympathy for his victims - the more downtrodden and under-dog the warmer he is about them, even if they do meet very sticky ends. Great stuff.

as is

THE INTERPRETATION OF MURDER by Jed Rubenfeld.. set in Manhattan in 1909. The word about this one is that the published paid $1million for it, and spent another $1 on marketing, confidently expecting it to be the biggest thing since the Da Vinci Code. (He actually said that.) Which was silly. It`s good but it hasn`t got the X Factor. He then let publicity peak too early and watched his book be overtaken by a dark horse unknown from the UK called THE THIRTEENTH TALE, about which we know. The difference was luck - the huge US Bookselling chain Barnes and Noble was starting a Book Club, which was tantamount to doing an Oprah with sales of anything they chose. They said they liked The Interpretation of Murder but they fell in love with The Thirteenth Tale and chose that instead. It hit number 1 and stayed there and poor Jed Rubenfeld slumped out of sight.

But forget the money. It`s a very very good historical (is 1909 hiustorical - well you know what I mean..) thriller and he paints Manhattan 1909 so you are living in it. High recommended.

I have just ordered up a book for its title, by the way - from THE FRIDAY PROJECT and called, Eat Well, Stay Fit and Die Anyway. It reminds me of  the terrible story of the diners waving away the pudding trolley at dinner on the Titanic.

I also riffled through a book called  THE NEW LIFETIME READING PLAN though I have no idea how I acquired it. It just magicked itself onto the shelf.

I open it. It tells me I have to read...at random, Chekhov, Rabelais, Freud, Flaubert, Yeats and someone called Tanizaki Yunichiro. Hm.

In fact, double hm.

Tomorrow I am going to write about children`s books.. wholesome, delightful, old-fashioned stories.

I hope the Woolf for Dummies class have all got their copies of Night and Day and are reading away.

Meanwhile, back to Water Management in the 12th century Monastery.

I`m serious.

Well, we`ll get the bad news over. We submitted in Heroines as requested, for the Richard and Judy Christmas books choice and were rather encouraged when one of our spies told us we had a good chance as there wasn`t any competition on this front and that Christmas books this year were rather thin. But they didn`t choose us so we feel rather dashed.

Back to trying even harder to sell our little book. It is, as they say, tough out there. But the ace up the sleeve is that it is perfect for Mother`s Day next spring.

Meanwhile, today`s Heroine in the news is CONDOLEZZA RICE in Beijing to rally support against North Korea. What a woman. Did you know that she was a world class ice skating champion ? Did you know that she played piano to concert level ? Nor did I until I read it in Heroines. There`s a role model for you.

More later. I was so tired after packing books all yesterday and going to see an important author for next year this morning, plus doing the shopping run, that I fell asleep for 3 hours this afternoon. When I woke up and went to put the kettle on, the SP was walking in the front door, very much to my surprise as I had his return down for tomorrow. Nice surprise I hasten to add but you know how these things throw one. I cannot now remember what bookish blog I was going to write but I will, I will.

 

Everything about being a publisher is a doddle - except this. Marketing, selling, publicity, they are HARD SWEAT. Jessica over at The Book Bar, has her first book out now HEROINES, THE BOLD, THE BAD AND THE BEAUTIFUL, from Long Barn Books and while I am busy packing copies up and sending them off and lorry loads have been driven from the printers down to Borders central warehouse, Jessica is busy thinking up new marketing ideas. She then hurls them through cyberspace to me. As I am such a small publisher, I can`t afford to pay big money for advertising and promotions but as we are all told most of that is wasted anyway perhaps it doesn`t matter. So we exercise our -skills and brain power to try and get the books to everyone`s attention by other means.

Jessica`s latest idea is rather a good one - to do a frequent round -up of Heroines in the News... Heroines who feature in her book that is. I hope it will serve the whet the appetites and get you all interested.

So I will try and add a few myself from time to time to help it all along.

Today`s is about HM THE QUEEN, who features in the book as several people`s own Heroine, and can`t you just see why ? The lady is 80, going on 60 and in terms of energy going on 45, and this week she is in the Baltic States - places like Lithuania, on a State Visit. As ever she looks terrific, with a great line in snazzy hats and whoever put her into the bold bright clear colours she has taken to wearing lately knows a thing or two.

She smiles and is  apparently indefatigable and I want to know her secret.

If YOU want to know who has chosen HMQ among their list of Heroines - er, guess what ? You`ll have to buy the book.

 

Apparently we do now. Not that the books inside are not good but strange and arresting titles do intrigue..such as

A SHORT HISTORY OF TRACTORS IN UKRAINIAN

LOVE- A USERS GUIDE

THE WOMAN`S GUIDE TO ADULTERY

LESSONS IN CALAMITY PHYSICS

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN

THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT

Which all augurs well, I think, for the Long Barn Books first novel of 2007

THE GOOD THIEF`S GUIDE TO AMSTERDAM

Have you ever bought a book for its cover ? Yes

Have you ever NOT bought a book because it`s cover is so hideous ?

Yes.

Discuss

 

Has anyone got a clue what this PC NewLabourspeak drivvel is about, what it has to do with either sport,  objects in museums or books in libraries and archives ? Has anyone got a clue what it is actually going to spend vast swathes of our money DOING ? Is what it actually means in clear English written between the lines in fairy writing ? Is it just me ?

Setting the Pace MLA Partnership Vision Museums, libraries and archives will ensure that the 2012 Olympic Games and Paralympic Games are an inclusive event. They will engage with an emerging generation of young people, celebrate diversity and help deliver the best ever Games, sustaining a legacy for people in all regions. We will champion the development of collections, audiences and workforce so that the 2012 games will be a transformational event for the sector and the country. London’s bid to host the Olympic Games and Paralympic Games in 2012 embraced the founding principles of Olympism linking sport, culture and education. The richness of our cultural life was key to the bid’s success. The benefits of hosting the Games will spread throughout all the nations and regions of the UK, with sporting venues located from Glasgow to Weymouth and Cardiff to Manchester. The cultural programme will similarly reach beyond the capital – with events like the Torch Relays, held in the months leading up to the Games, sparking community festivals and celebrations across the country, as the Torch comes within 60 minutes of 95% of the UK population. Museums, libraries and archives have a unique opportunity to be part of the Games, in the years leading up to 2012, during the Games themselves and beyond. To generate ideas and discuss the possible scope of a sector offer for the Games, the MLA Partnership held workshops over the summer with people from museums, libraries and archives across the country. Prospectus Setting the Pace presents the latest information on planning for the Games and how the work of museums, libraries and archives already focuses on the emerging themes of the cultural programme for the Games: inspiring and engaging the youth of the world celebrating world cultures and the diversity of the UK leaving a lasting legacy It also highlights some of the inspirational ideas which people from museums, libraries and archives have already put forward for engaging with the cultural Olympiad. Setting the Pace prospectus (PDF 0.9MB) We are asking you to fill in our online survey at http://settingthepace.mla.gov.uk to  let us know your ideas for engagement

I`ve just been out to supper with her at the pub and we talked too much and stayed too long and I forgot that I had written nothing here today. Mind you, being told I had to because it was National Blog Day, rather put me off. I don`t like being told what to do in that way. Who decided it was National Blog day anyway ? Some facelessgovernment official with too big a salary and too much time on his hands.

Jeanette and I catch up every few months and there is always such a lot to talk about, book, life, politics,money, gossip, country life-wise. By the way, if you have not read her chidren`s book TANGLEWRECK, do, especially as you need to have it under your belt before the TV dramatisation at Christmas. She is doing the adaptation herself. It would lend itself rather well to telly. It could be as good as that wonderful version of THE BOX OF DELIGHTS some 15 years or so ago. And if you have not read that, there`s another children`s book for you. In fact, here is a list of children`s books ' for every child aged 9  to 99,' or 'that every grown-up should read'

THE SECRET GARDEN Frances Hodgson Burnett

THE LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE Laura Ingalls Wilder (and all the others)

WHAT KATY DID

THE FAMILY FROM ONE END STREET

THE TREASURE SEEKERS E. Nesbit

THE BOX OF DELIGHTS.. John Masefield

THE FINN FAMILY MOMMINTROLL.. and all the other Moomin books..

BLACK HEARTS IN BATTERSEA, THE WOLVES OF WILLOUGHBY CHASE and NIGHTBIRDS ON NANTUCKET by Joan Aiken

THE FANTORA FAMILY FILES.  Adele Geras

Those`ll keep you happy.

 

... and seven months to adopt their little girl from China.

But then, they don`t have a private jet.

Bryan Appleyard, he of Sunday Times eminence, has an article about the end of the book and of the bookshop. In ten years time, bookshops will be like Smart Snap booths in which we will download either an e-book or collect a copy of whatever which has been made specially for us alone by P.O.D. or Print on Demand.

I know, I know , yawnsville. What bewilders me is why so many commentators, librarians and others who you might think love the book because they make their living from it, are cheering on its demise They WANT the death of the book, they WANT it to wither and die. They LONG for the paperback and words in print on paper to be over. They cannot wait. Did you ever hear of people who play the violin longing for all instruments to die, for opera lovers to cheer on the death of the singer ? But the poor old book MUST it simply MUST die. Go on go on go on, you hear them, Die dammit.

It refuses to of course. There are enough of us who believe in it and love it to keep it going ad infinitum. But Bryan Appleyard is not talking about the e-book or the download, he is talking about this wonderful thing P.O.D.

I have replied to him on his blog but I will say it all again here. P.O.D. is a useful way of keeping some books available - books which sell a few dozen copies a year, maybe less - very academic books, certain textbooks, that sort of thing.  Now I have had occasion to buy several P.O.D. books this past couple of years, for my MA course. I could borrow them from academic libraries but there is sometimes a queue and besides, I like to deface my books with scribble and underlining, so I buy them. Several of the University presses make obscure books about 12th century monasticism available as P.O.D. The most recent one I bought cost £25 when it was last in print, 5 years ago. Make that £30 now if you like. The copy I bought as a Print on Demand cost me EIGHTY THREE POUNDS. And what is more, it was very badly printed and even more badly bound. It fell to bits the first time I opened it up. I sent it back and demanded a replacement, free. 8 weeks later they had printed my next copy on demand. That fell apart too.

I learned from an insider that this is usual. They are not printed and bound as well as the normal run of 1,000 plus copies and they usually do fall apart. But they cost four to six times more than the usual in-print version.

So, this is the end of the bookshop stuffed full of lovely 7.99 paperbacks and 12.99 hardbacks ?

I don`t think so.

Those who have embarked on NIGHT AND DAY might bear in mind that VW had a very good sense of humour. There are numerous references to it in letters and diaries of others, and she shows a nice sharp wit in her own. But there is a wonderfully funny account of the two ladies - Katharine Hilbery and her mother - trying to write the biography of their great and famous poet ancestor, Richard Hilbery - see Chapter 3. It pokes fun at Katharine`s mother especially, and Katharine`s despairing attempts to keep her mother focused on the job in hand and make some sort of order out of all the wafty and irrelevant paragraphs and notes are laugh-aloud stuff. Not something anyone anticipates in VW.

What you need to do with this book is to see it as a plain, straightforward Victorian/Edwardian story. Because after it we will begin to look at how she sets off in her small bark through dangerous waters - unsure if she could even row - towards the 20th century and her own view of the novel But remember - we know what happened, what she wrote, what others made of it. She did not.

She has to leave the safety and solidity of the novel form as it had always been, as N and D is, like a young person leaving home for an uncertain future.

But for now, look at what she COULD do and did. And one hint - the novel moves nicely evenly along all the time - but it does not take flight until almost half way through.

Because I know I like them very much but I cannot remember much about them. The first is CRIME AND PUNISHMENT which I read as a student commuting by underground from South Kensington to Temple every day and once going to Tower Hill without noticing I was so engrossed. But I haven`t read it since then. I know I want to.

The other is CLAYHANGER - Arnold Bennett. Read about 10 years ago, admired and enjoyed  far beyond all my expectations. Know I want to read it again. Know neither of them will let me down.

It matters that you KNOW they deserve their salvation from the flames, unlike those books you think worthy of salvation but secretly wish never to have to worry about not having read again. If you follow that convoluted sentence. I`m thinking of ULYSSES.

Some years ago, the small market town near us had some wonderful new street lamps installed. They are non-polluting, send pools of calm light down, look pleasant and in keeping and are a vast improvement on the usual hideous orange sodium jobs installed by councils. They were specifically designed and made for the town and they were paid for by a local man and his sister. They have a plaque on the town steps thanking them.

When I started Long Barn Books, nearly 10 years ago, the same gentleman bought several at once from me. I delivered them by hand, as he lived nearby, and he said he had felt he should obtain them to encourage a local enterprise. He also said he could never resist a book. I noticed that his hall and the room beyond were book-lined - always a pleasing sight.

Earlier this year, he died, at a very ripe old age. Now you may know that I am not much of a haunter of swcond hand bookshops, preferring the smell of new ones, but I happened to be by the one in the same little market town yesterday, saw something in the window I have been trying to track down for a while, nipped in and bought it. But of course once you are in those shops you never just nip out again. Browsing, I found a set of the 1929 Macmillan Thomas Hardy - they were Hardy`s original publishers - in the small format, with soft india paper, dark red leather bindings, gold blocked. They were a fiver each. When I opened The Return of the Native, I saw in neat pen, the name of the lightine benefactor and 1932, inscribed in ink. They are perfect little books which fit most comfortably into the hand.I bought them of course. I can always do with another edition of Hardy, and besides, I wanted them to find a loving home not far away from their old one. I`m sure the lighting gentleman will be pleased.

 

Of course, OUR MUTUAL FRIEND, though it was mighty hard to choose one Dickens. I dithered between this and LITTLE DORRIT and each kept winning, then the other and so it went on.

Now I think I want a volume of letters and an autobiography. It is going to take me tomorrow to sort those out I can tell you.

Meanwhile, the ghastly Unconventionals were voted off The X Factor THANK GOD, so we will never have to see or hear them again. Talk about a pub karaoke.

Who should win ? Come on DGR, you`re the other X Factor person here. Ben ? Or Eton Road. My money is on Eton Road.  Shall we have an intellectual discussion about this... The X Factor for Dummies.

The Dove Grey One is right. The Complete Poems of Ted Hughes it has to be for Volume One, tucked  safely under the arm.

Volume Two and I am saving the Complete Chaucer, in the  Robinson edition.

Goodness. Here it gets very hard. Something funny ? Something uplifting ? Improving ? Timeless or of our times ?

I need to think further.

Novels are the hardest of all. Do they all have to be very very long or is the mightiness of little things to be considered ?

I`ll be back after the X Factor.

At 9, the SP left for Moscow, having found his fur hat. I said, "You can always buy another one. They`ll be plenty of fur hats in Moscow." "Yes, but I like this one. I bought it in St Petersburg." "Well, they probably have the same sort in Moscow." "Yes, but I like this one."

Then everything was quiet again as the fog rubbed its back against the window .. (remind me who wrote that please..) and I went back to bed with a second mug of tea and the younger Border Terrier and  NIGHT AND DAY.

Half an hour later, the mist was still dense at the top of the cherry orchard. The grass was wet and juice and there were tiny cobwebs between the blades, like the little ghosts of old flowers. I could hear nothing at all except the swish of my boots through the wet grass and the pitter patter of the dogs. My bench was too wet to sit on so we walked along the hedgerow for a while, the dogs scrabbling busily in the bottom. Everything was muffled. It was like being the only person in the world. Coming back, yet another walnut hit me on the head. I have now gathered three huge cardboard boxes full. Never, never such a hoard.

My friend Nick came for tea yesterday, wearing his breeks and gaiters and brilliant red socks, and with three brace of partridge and three of pheasant, shot an few hours before. He also brought a pile of exciting books, one of them rather rare, to help with a book we are planning and on which he is Consultant Editor. If you want to know more about Nick, try and get hold of his autobiography, PETO`S PROGRESS, which Long Barn published last year. Scandalous. Hilarious. Wicked.

I bunged the game birds into the boot of my car as last night was pretty chilly and they would have been no use on the grass all night as a temptation to foxes and Border Terriers.  This morning, I drove down in dense and rather dangerous fog to the butcher who will pluck them. I can do it. I don`t mind doing it. But I am very bad at doing it, it takes me hours and I have other fish to fry.

By the time I had been there, bought the papers and gone to one of my favourite cafes for the morning cappucino, the sun did that amazing thing it does and flashed through the mist like a flaming sword and commanded it to dissolve itself. The drive home was through golden lanes and brightly berried hedgerows, passing endless riders, because it was the weekend, big ones on big fat hunters and little ones on tiny ponies, all waving Thank You - country riders are the politest people in the world.

Now, it is cool dark and the stars are out. The Border Terriers have smelled a rat under the rubbish shed and the SP is in Moscow.

With his fur hat.

Let`s bring this up to the top. In a previous post about monks saving their precious books in the fires at the monastery of the Grande Chartreuse, there was mention of the Priotr shouting for the books to be saved even if everything else went up in flames, which prompted the Dove Grey Reader to ask which 6 books - not sure why 6 - I would save from the fire. It`s a good game so let`s give it a prominent position. I think Ten books would be easier. We will play the game in the traditional way and assume that the Bible and Shakespeare are safe.

So, please post your choices. I am still thinking about mine. It is really really difficult.

 

It was kindly sent to me by the publishers, Portobello Books, because one of Portobello used to look after my publicity at Chatto and Windus. Something about this book, perhaps  the small neat size and the fact that it has no dust wrapper but has the title and author etc printed directly onto a rather nice dark blue binding, made me open it at once while standing at the kitchen table with the rest of the post.

Not long afterwards, the rest of the post was unopened and I was on the kitchen sofa reading

TIMOTHY`S BOOK

Notes of an English Country Tortoise

by

Verlyn

Klinkenborg.

 

Turn it over. On the back it says

'This is the truth of my time

among humans.'

As the inside back cover has an extremely clear outline of the book from a review in the Los Angeles Times, I can do no better to tempt you to read it than quote from that.

"Timothy is a small book about a small reptile in a natural world full of bountiful small things. Yet Klinkenborg is also asking larger, sweeping questions about the relationship between humans and animals and what these relationships say about human character...Most of all, Klinkenborg imbues Timothy with a profound sense of apartness, a lonely being at home in the space of a singular shell. It is the author`s greatest truimph. He makes us believe we are reading not just the thoughts of a tortoise but those of a Turkish tortoise, uprooted from the craggy coast of the mediteranean to spend cruel, solitary winters in a British garden."

The garden, of course, was that of the great 18th century naturalist, Gilbert White of Selborne. This is Klinkenborg`s story of that Timothy and it is wonderful. It is evocative, elegantly, succintly, beautifully written, full of wisdom and strangeness. I haven`t read anything like it. Not even White`s own Natural History of Selborne is like it.

It is the sort of book that finds its place at once on your bedside table, a permanent place, a place for life. I finished it on the kitchen sofa before I opened the rest of the post and, by comparison with the treasure that came from Portobello Books, a very pedestrian post it was too.

I don`t know anyone I would not give this book to. I cannot imagine knowing a person who did not take it to their heart immediately. What kind of a person would that be ?

Just go out and buy it.

Oh give me strength. Hermione Lee, that very fine literary critic and biographer, and the Chair of this year`s Booker Prize judges, has actually said today, that she couldn`t find the shortlisted books in Waterstone`s - she can`t have looked far - and then followed it with "Our list was being sidelined by commercial interests." Go on, just read that again. What the f... does she think Waterstone`s or any other bookseller is, a flaming charity ? They are in business. They are in business to sell things and make a profit. End of. In fact, Booker prizewinners - and indeed shortlisted authors - usually do make a fat profit for everyone concerned. Think LIFE OF PI, to name one.

I sometimes wonder what planet these academics and literary critics live on.

Hermione Lee is still a very fine critic and a great biographer. But as a commentator on the hard facts of commercial life in the book world, she makes a very good doorstop.

Woken by a tremendous clap of thunder and lightning flashing in my face. But since then  it has been a wonderfully peaceful day. I turned off the telephone and shut myself away. But in between writing quietly, I have been reading a wonderful book called AN INFINITY OF LITTLE HOURS about the strictest monastic order there is,  that of the Carthusians. And I thought you might like to have the following.

"The second most important building is the library. Carthusians cherish books. A quarter of a century after Bruno`s death, peter the venerable notes that the monks' manual labour consists "chiefly of transcribing books." The early Carthusian monks, in fact, made their libraries by borrowing and copying books. "Although they submit to every  kind of privation, they accumulate a very rich library."  Books are the monks most intimate companions. They nurture and sustain him throughout his life. In 1127 Guigo 1st instructed his monks, "Books forsooth we wish to be kept very carefully as the everlasting food of our souls, and most industriously to be made, so that since we cannot do so by the mouth, we may preach the word of God with our hands."

The manuscript collection of each Charterhouse was  its major treasure. In 1371, immediately after the monks had completed the restoration of The Grande Chartreuse after one of its innumerable fires another broke out. When the Prior saw the severity of the flames he shouted above the tumult, " My fatersm my fathers, ad libros, ad libros; let the rest burn, but save the books."

 

For how I am feeling ? Yet another day with the painter and decorator herew until 7 p,m. and men scrambling about on the roof assessing the storm damage, and people mis-delivering books and the final straw when said painter managed to paint the floor boards on my bathroom floor BEFORE telling me 1. that they will not be dry for 16 hours and 2. that I should have removed toothbrush, toothpaste, face creams, hairbrush et al from beside the washbasin. Result. Wet paint on floor until noon tomorrow and no way of reaching them.

I am spending the next week without the phone, without people here, without doing any publishing but only with a pen, and my Pukka pads and DCS Serrailler.

I will try and update the blog every evening as I find it rather therapeutic.  I will also of course, be reading NIGHT AND DAY and thinking about the next lesson. I love it. Otherwise, I am out of circulation. I will be on my bench at the top of the cherry orchard if the weather is kind.

If I do not do this now I think I may come down with something.

We will be reading NIGHT AND DAY next and I would also like you to read Jeanettte Winterson on VW on her website. Here is the link.

http://www.jeanettewinterson.com/pages/content/index.asp?PageID=249

Jeanette, like me, loves VW and believes her to be a truthful and important writer, a genius. She is very good at putting passion into her explanations which is why I suggest you  read this.  JW is the General Editor of the Vintage  edition of VW and if you want to buy any one edition, choose this for the introductions. I have to declare an interest as I wrote the one for this edition of THE YEARS which we will come to much later.

I suggest you might like to read Chapter Nine of the Lyndall Gordon biography, THE TRIAL OF LOVE at some point soon. VW is one of those writers whose life is fascinating in and for itself - even if she had not been a writer. The period is interesting, the other people she knew are interesting, her personality and psychology are interesting. So don`t look for clues to the novels in the life, do the reverse.

As we progress the life will become less important in relation to the novels, which come to stand on their own feet more and more. But for now, we need to move from Virginia Stephen - with everything that implies - to the first years of Virginia Woolf.

 

The next module, which is what we now call Lessons, will go up later today. I am a bit frantic sorting out orders for HEROINES. THE BOLD, THE BAD AND THE BEAUTIFUL and I must get Forensics to check for the DNA on that Crossbow.

We will move forward now from TVO - but if anyone else has anything to discuss about that, you have until early this evening, whe your work must be handed it, written or typed on one side of the page only and any essays with chocolate smears will be returned UNMARKED.

 

The Observer did one of those totally useless but fascinating polls. They asked 150 writers and movers and shakers and opinion formers to choose the best novel of the 20th century. They came up with Disgrace by J.M. Coetzee, which I have not read.. BUT, apparently, until well on in the counting, it looked as if the top choice was going to be, wonder if wonders, THE BLUE FLOWER that little masterpiece by Penelope Fitzgerald. In the end it comes, I think 4th.... which is good enough for me. And also well up there at the top of the choices are two novels by JOHN McGAHERN. Two great novelists and at last, at last, at last, getting something approaching their due. Respect, to all those on the panel who chose either of them.

I have mentioned before that I think writers are spoiled by the number of outlets for their work there are on every High Street. At Cheltenham on Saturday we had yet more complaining about how hard it is for writers, how no one wants to publish them and when they are published how no one wants to stock them and... Oh give me strength. 

Recently an opera based on one of my books was put on in Oxford. It took the young composer about 3 years to complete and it has had one performance. Just the one. If you are an opera composer, what chance of getting your work put on in every High Street ? How many opera houses do we have in the UK ? Yes, quite. And those are putting on 10 Madame Butterflies and 10 La Traviatas and 50 Die Fleidermauses to not even ONE opera by an unknown young composer. 

If you are a young painter, how hard do you think it is to get a gallery to represent you ? How hard to get an exhibition or even INTO an exhibition ?

Why do the opera houses put on endless Puccini and Verdi ? Because that is what the public wants and will pay to see.

In the book tent at Cheltenham there was quite a decent sized stand devoted to poetry, much of it new, contemporary poetry. And all the time I was browsing there I kept my eye on it. The tent was very very busy. And not  a single person so much as stopped in front of the poetry stand, even though it was rather prominent, let alone stopped and took up a book and opened it.

My two favourite aphorisms are 'Fine words butter no parsnips' and, more apposite at this moment, 'You can take a horse to water but you cannot make it drink.'  

So long as we are a democracy in every sense you will have an awful lot of water in various flavours, but if the public does not want to drink it, or only chooses the pink fizzy as against the yellow still or the orange or the blue water, then so be it.

 

 

 

 

 

the new Michael Connolly ECHO PARK last night..I don`t know a page turner like him. The last THE LINCOLN LAWYER was the best - or I think so - but this one is heading towards being even better. The only thing to do with books like this is gobble them up, like a whole packet of chocolate biscuits. Then you can get back to the good-for-you slices of raw carrot and celery and the Booker shortlist.

Two messages this afternoon. One goes near the top of the list for Cheek - needless to say, from a student.

'Hi. Please will you send me a free copy of I`m the King of the Castle as I`ve lost mine.'

and an order for a replacement copy of THE VARIOUS HAUNTS OF MEN from a lady  I think is a teacher and who says, 'I had it in my schoolbag and split a bottle of balsamic vinegar all over it. Don`t ask.'

 

1. If VW had never written anything else, do you think TVO would have survived ?

2. If you did not know how much of it related to her own life-how many characters she drew from family and friends, for example, would this make any difference to how you read it ?

 

NOW.. that last chapter. I am sure someone with a greater knowledge of musical form than I have would be able to work out a musical pattern in this chapter. It seems to me not unlike the  storm in the Beethoven 6th Symphony in form.

But that is only sound, and only about the storm and the natural world after the storm. This book is about people and the effect of the storm on them.

It is surely one of the finest descriptions of what it feels like to be in a house when a storm gathers and then strikes overhead and then gradually fades, ever written - though there is a wonderful one in Joseph Roth`s THE RADETZKY MARCH. But the sense of mounting tension, the gathering darkness, the first huge drops of rain, the alarming lightening - the way everyone watches it and is aware of their own fear and everyone else`s,so that they don`t eat and the waiters do not pay attention to what they are serving ; there is a powerful sense that the lightening might actually strike here - it does strike something close at hand..

Then people leave the dining room and gather in the hall, where they cannot see the storm so well and though they hear it, it is muffled, packs them together just as air raids did some years later; strangers share the same emotion, of pent-up, controlled fear - they feel a little foolish about it, and though they cannot rid themselves of their fear, they can control themselves perfectly. Only one little boy is led sobbing away.

As the storm leaves almost as quickly as it has come, the tension dissipates, and people drift apart and away - they have come together and now they are keen to separate themselves into their own small pockets of being again.

The ending is beautiful, a dying fall. I find it intensely moving, in its own right and after what has happened in  the last few chapters.

She had learned, over the course of writing and re-writing the novel, to control a scene so theatrically, to get it just as she wanted it. There are many false notes in this novel, but there is not a single one in the last chapter... it is one of those that marks out the great writer from the good one.

 

Recently the poet Andrew Motion said that British writers' manuscripts should stay in the UK and be bought by the British Library or a similar institution. This morning, the Sunday Times has an article about Salman Rushdie selling his manuscripts to the USA.

I wonder if it matters where manuscripts are, as scholars and students are able to travel easily, manuscripts could be photographed and available on the internet as pdf files so that alterations and etc can be studied  closely. Is it misplaced patriotism ? I`m not sure. The ms of a novel is not like a great British painting which thousands will go to see.

I have been very fortunate. The manuscripts of my own novels have nearly all been bought by Eton College and are housed in the library there in specially designed and made red leather boxes. They were first bought over 20 years ago but I did stipulate that if they were to go there, they should be available both to boys working on my books and to anyone who made application to see and use them. It IS interesting to see corrections and changes, and these are all handwritten manuscripts and planning notebooks. Boys study Strange Meeting, for example, and trace every step, from the very first tentative notes I made about possibly writing a novel set in the First World War, to the final typescript that went to the printer. I think it has proved interesting and worthwhile and I would want them to be handled and examined - which they are.

I am very proud that they are there. If they had gone to America, as I know many manuscripts do - the University of Texas was buying up everything they could lay their hands on at one time - then they would be kept in a drawer in an air conditioned safe and no one would be allowed to see  them, let alone handle them - even supposing they knew they were there.  I`m glad mine can be used by teachers with their classes every day. The risk of dirty fingers and blobs of chewing gum is a small one. Even with boys.

 

The Cheltenham Literature Festival is sponsored by THE TIMES so there are dump bins of free copies everywhere. Today being Saturday, the paper contains the Books section and advertised on the front of the paper was 'Cheltenham Festival of Literature Books Section Special.'

Only every copy of The Times comes to the Cheltenham Literature Festival MINUS the book supplement.

You could probably make it up - but who would believe it ?

And the place was full of little children sitting at tables outside the Book tent in the sun, doing colouring in. I didn`t quite gather what the mammoth was for but Kipper, Mick Inkpen`s great dog character, was strolling around on two legs shaking paws with people. Gordon Brown and Ronnie Corbett were over at the Racecourse, presumably not doing a double act, but Anna Massey was in the town hall.

Our gig was OK, and Ion Trewin as predicted, was a safe pair of hands, but I know that the figures Scott and I produced, the actual facts and figures and statistics were either disbelieved or regarded as totally irrelevant by the people who somehow think writers and books are owed some kind of living. They talked about lack of choice in bookshops. I simply do not know what they are talking about. They talked about only Jamie Oliver and people who have had a lot of money paid in advances for their blockbusters being sold in bookshops. Scott produced a fact - one simple, killer fact, which is that 80% - EIGHTY PER CENT-of Waterstone`s profit comes not from the books at the front on the tables but from the core stock, books which are sold spine facing, books which have been in print a while, back-list books, full price  books. But I could see that he was wasting his breath. They`ll choose not to believe it.

The food in the writer`s room is as appalling as ever, the coffee is as disgusting as ever and as lukewarm, the student girls and boys employed to help are as helpful and nice as ever and the audience was the same one, with the same people in it, as I have met at every Cheltenham Literary Festival I have attended since 1971. No, I mean it. They are THE SAME PEOPLE. I swear.

Beautiful light over the Malverns, 'those blue remembered hills' as we went, beautiful red-apple and golden apple sky on the way home.

And that`s it. Absolutely no more Litfests ever again. Back to the book.

And my Woolf for Dummies class tomorrow.

Don`t do them nowadays but this isn`t talking about me, this is about publishing/bookselling/reading... New Grub Street, they have called it. I`m with the lovely Ion Trewin, now Booker prize administrator, formerly a publisher, before that Literary Editor, before that diary columnist on The Times and generally good egg. He is in the chair and a safer pair of hands you could not find. Also appearing are Danuta Kean, journalist and blogger and freelance book commentator, and one Scott Pack, who someone tells me had to do with Waterstone`s buying in another life; someone else told me he blogs under Me and My Big Mouth, and yet someone else said he was on the Editorial Board of Long Barn Books but I could not possibly comment.

It isn`t the debate that is ever the problem it`s the question; 70% are interesting and from lovely people but then there are the others and this time I predict we will have the 'no one can get their novel published any more, do you agree ?' 'It is all to do with who you know in publishing, please respond ?' 'Isn`t it all hype and about money and buying your way in ?' 'How can I get my novel published/will you publish my novel/I have it here in my bag...can I just ?'

But I could be wrong. I`ll let you know tonight.

The Cheltenham Literature Festival in general is not what it was, not by a long chalk. I have been perusing the online brochures. It has now split itself all over the town with buses shuttling people off to various schools on the outskirts of town and even for heaven`s sake, to the Racecourse, which is miles. When they moved some overflow events to the Everyman Theatre there was grumbling enough. People like to be in one central venue. The Town Hall is great - big rooms, small rooms, cafeteria, writer`s room.... the Everyman is just about OK but it was not built for this sort of thing. Occasionally they have had odd events in the Queen's Hotel across the road, which was - well, odd.

People like to be in the swim. They like to meet the person they sat next to last year when it was Alan Bennett, and hope to bump into Martin Amis prowling up the corridor looking broody. If they shuttle everyone out to the Racecourse and Dean Close School, none of that will happen. Also, one of the joys has always been watching someone holding Julian Barnes firmly back by the elbow while a room empties of 200 under 5s bearing Peter Rabbit Balloons