I have read the chapters which were sent in prior to today. Thank you. One of the things I noted and which is so so often a real problem with new and aspiring writers is something that could be solved easily - by reading more novels by the best. This is why the course focuses on giving you things to read. That is the way, by studying very carefully how the best published writers write, you will learn.

The one thing you all do and which the quickest way to indicate that you are inexperieced is to use CLICHE.  Far too many verbs had the cliched adjective attached to them, almost as if they were joined at the hip. There is always a better alternative. You do not have to use the cliched word and phrase like a knee-jerk. THINK every time you are about to use an adjective or a descriptive phrase. Then ask, is it a cliche, is it really necessary, can I think of something better, and above all, is this EXACT. In one chapter we have 'his sigh floats heavily down the stairs.' Is that really what sighs do ? How does a sigh float ? How does it float HEAVILY ? In the same chapter 'accusing foosteps retreat across the landing.' Stop and think about that one too. In another chapter there are 'the dazzling days of his early career.' and again 'quietly basking in the satisfaction.' DAZZLING and BASKING are cliches in this sentence. We all say in casual talk'look at him, basking in his own satisfaction,' because we use cliches... but when you are writing you have to be nmore perceptive. This does not mean digging into the thesaurus for the most recondite and clever-sounding adjective or adverb you can discover. That is just as bad.

One other thing. Every publisher who receives piles of manuscripts weekly knows one sure sign of the amateur - the first person narrative present. 'She comes down the stairs and looks into the study.'   Please do not use this tense unless you are 110% certain it is the only possible one. It is a difficult tense to read and it should be used sparingly.

I found one or two chapters which made me want to read on though none made me think I would put down whatever I was doing in order to continue. The opening paragraphs were generally far too full of detailed description to hold me. I liked this. It would be even better if the writer 'said no' instead of 'declined' and the man was 'waiting for' not 'awaiting' but it is a good opener. Unusual. No flowery descriptions. Intriguing. It does not, alas, continue quite so well because we are given something like a lesson in politics and contemporary affairs in the course of the scene which slows it down.

'On the morning of the funeral, Juan Linares drove down from Leon to Granada and arrived half an hour early.  An American waiting outside the church recognised the journalist and asked if he might like to sit with his group. Juan thanked him and declined. They had met once at a party at the Intercontinental Hotel, when the American had been awaiting a residency permit. '

This is good too.

 

The boy crept through dry grass and over the gate and then began to run until he reached the natural barrier of the river. Not even a river, he thought with angry scorn, a stream, shallow enough to wade across in his trainers and hardly get his feet wet.'

(I don`t know why my own text takes on the font of the previous extract, sorry. I can`t find a way to sort it out.)

This chapter was promising though the writer used italics too much. Use of italics for emphasis in conversation and prose = bad. Very very very very occasionally if at all. The reader can bring their own emphasis.

I wanted to know more about this boy as I wanted to know more about the funeral in the passage above.

For this post though the message should be loud and clear. Write a note and stick it above your desk. NO CLICHES.